When we commit to making chamber music with a group of musicians, we put ourselves in a very vulnerable position. Musically, everything we do is audible and affects every other musician in the group. Interpersonally, we risk harming others or being harmed, intentionally or not, with our words. How can we have healthy rehearsals so that opinions are expressed, consensus is reached, and the necessary work is done to support a good performance while taking care of each other? Can being a better colleague also help us make better music?
Inclusivity and supportiveness lead to better outcomes
One thing we can do to be better colleagues with each other is to insist on including everyone in making decisions. Whether deciding on more mundane issues such as choosing rehearsal location and concert dress or making more substantive decisions like determining tempos or shaping of phrases, making sure everyone’s opinion is solicited and heard is a valuable way of building trust and team spirit. Just as students learning in a classroom perform better in a positive, supportive environment, so do chamber music groups make themselves more ready for productive rehearsals by creating their own space safe for learning. When we think of our rehearsals as team learning events, we can make our rehearsals more fun and effective.
Lead by asking questions
When a group is learning a new piece together, challenges that no one anticipates often emerge. Despite your preparation, you may be surprised that something you thought was uncomplicated may be difficult to sort out. Maybe a rhythm that isn’t difficult in the practice room now feels quite challenging when played with a colleague’s rhythm. A dynamic that seemed reasonable in isolation now seems untenable in the context of the group sound. Sometimes, these challenges can feel like hitting a brick wall. I suggest that one way to lead a group out of the logjam can be by asking questions such as, “Can we slow this measure down to half tempo so we can hear how the rhythms work together?” “What if we try just two of us playing for a moment to understand how the music is supposed to sound?” Asking questions can invite your colleagues to join you in finding a solution.
Use sentences that begin with “I”
Sometimes, we might hear an issue that you think is caused by another player’s unawareness of the issue. Saying, for example, “You’re dragging” or “You’re rushing,” might push a colleague toward resentment or defensiveness. Rather than saying “You’re out of tune”, consider approaching the issue by saying, “I think I might be a little low to you.” Starting with “I” says not only that you hear something, but also that you acknowledge that you could be part of the problem. It also says that you are open to finding a solution that works for both of you. Healthy rehearsals can happen when we invite team awareness rather than using a top-down “I think you’re doing this wrong” approach.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is the best rule I know for living and for moving forward in rehearsal. Put yourself into your colleague’s shoes. How would what you are saying feel if it were directed toward you? When we address your colleagues in a way that we would like to be addressed, we do our part in maintaining trust and a positive team environment. Following the Golden Rule is a key way to have healthy rehearsals.
Look at yourself
No one is without faults. The first step toward humanity is knowing and acknowledging our own areas of weakness. When we go into the practice room, if we are real with ourselves, we are clear on what we need to work on. If we typically avoid a certain area of practice, we must ask ourselves why we avoid it. Could it be that it’s painful to work on something we’re not so good at? The same principle applies in our interpersonal relationships. Is it hard for us to hear suggestions that we change a habit that would benefit the group? When we make suggestions to someone else, does our tone of voice invite engagement or defensiveness? Being aware of yourself and open to change can be beneficial to everyone. If everyone in your group can do this, imagine the possibilities for real dialogue and real advancement of the goals of the group.
Chamber music is hard, and not just because the notes on the page are difficult. Every member of a chamber music group must have ownership of the group and must take the responsibility to move the group forward. Being a better colleague opens one more avenue to making better music.
