Three Things to Remember When You Receive Criticism

When we go to school to learn how to be professionals, along the way, our teachers, conductors, and coaches will say things to us to guide us toward better choices or to let us know when something we did was not good enough. Perhaps we are lucky enough to have mentors who guide us gently. Some of us may not have that good fortune. In either case, however, we hear what they say and ignore it to our peril.

When we move on into the professional world, we still have supervisors who may want us to do things differently. They might think what we do is not good enough. We also may sometimes hear from peers who feel moved to criticize our work. 

We want to feel valued. We want to do a good job. We need to hear criticism sometimes, but that doesn’t make it fun or easy to hear it. Here are three things to remember when you receive criticism.

Don’t take it personally.

If you hear feedback about your work, make sure you hear that it is about your work and not about you. Learn to separate yourself from the critique you are receiving. Receiving information about deficiencies in your performance doesn’t mean that your worth as a human being has changed. 

Learn something.

Hearing unexpected criticism can put us in a defensive frame of mind. But listen to the words being spoken to you. Maybe there is some value in what you hear. Maybe there is a small nugget of good information that you can apply that will make your work better and increase your value to your group.

Be clear about who is criticizing you.

If your friend or close colleague is offering you constructive criticism, accept that as a gift. After all, they didn’t have to take the risk to tell you something they think you need to hear. But also consider whether the messenger is qualified to give you valuable feedback. If they don’t understand what you do, or if they, unfortunately, have an agenda that does not have your well-being in mind, then don’t get caught up in defending yourself. In that case, you are better off saving your energy and allowing the uninformed or ill-intentioned words to roll off you like water off a duck’s back.

Hearing criticism can be a learning experience.

A wise person once said that if we aren’t growing, we are moving backwards. Staying on top of our profession involves constant learning. Criticism, if offered with genuine care and received with grace, can be a gift that helps us grow.